“Existential therapy is about uncovering meaning and purpose in living”
- Imogen Koufou
What is existential Therapy?
Existential therapy is not a method but rather a way of being and thinking about existence informed by philosophy as well as being underpinned by advanced psychotherapeutic training. My approach is pragmatic and experiential, not only based on theory but by the nature of embodied experience on an individual level, informed by training, research and experience. I endeavour to respond respectfully and authentically to each client. My practice of existential therapy is based on the premise of emotional depth, seeking clarity, and revealing the meaning that shapes how we see ourselves, while recognising that we are situated in the world around us. We can become stuck in ways of understanding ourselves and our world that causes us to find our life painful, frustrating, and disempowering. Existential therapy acknowledges that we are fundamentally meaning-making, and this stance allows us to be open to the possibility that we have the power to shape and re-create that meaning and to live more open and fulfilling lives.
Research has shown that it is not the theory or technique that is essential to successful and meaningful therapy, but the person-to-person connection with the therapist. In dialogue with the right therapist for you, existential therapy aims to slow things down, to look again at your experience, and to increase understanding in order for new possibilities in how to live emerge. Therapy is not always comfortable, and at times needs to be challenging in order for it to offer and inspire new ways of living in the world for the client outside the therapy. This is how change can happen, whether it be practical or perceptual.
Our world, relationships and selves are always changing, and at times this calls for us to act. To be truly open and aware to this ever-changing state of flux we must first take stock of where we are and how we are living, and then recognise the power we hold in our response to the situation in which we find ourselves. Existential therapy is a special place of dialogue where we can pause amid this flux and to consider how we find ourselves. It is a compassionate, courageous, and respectful encounter. Each person’s process of clarification, understanding and change in the process of finding a fulfilling and authentic way of living is individual, but in order to achieve lasting change therapy must be inclusive of not only what is often referred to as ‘cognitive’, ‘behavioural’ or even ‘emotional’ realms of experience, but must bring together our embodied existence as we experience it every day.
“We know not through our intellect but through our experience”
- Maurice Merleau - Ponty
Embodied existence
Our body is not only of vehicle of living, but it is the very way in which we experience the world. In modern society we all too often imagine or even might experience what we feel is a separation with between our mind, emotions, and body. When we can reconnect with, respect and listen to the wisdom of our body and emotions, we are able to be not overcome by them but to welcome the teaching that they bring and find a deeper connection to our own sense of selves, and to the world around us.
In therapy this is a very practical, experiential experience. This is not always a comfortable journey as we may have become accustomed to using our body or finding a sense of detachment from our emotional experiences in order to cope with living. This is often experienced by those struggling with addictions and particularly issues with eating. When a ‘expert’ tries to simply teach what is deemed as a ‘better’ relationship with food or substance it often only brings about short-lived change. At IK Therapy Imogen offers a radical approach in the field of eating disorders, which is not only respectful but empowering; an approach that moves beyond just the use of tools and creates space for a greater depth of exploration of embodied experience.
By being truly seen and heard, both challenging and empathised with, we can regain a sense of control over our existence, make choices about how we want to live, and recognise that our body is ours. It is then that the obsessive and addictive relationship with food, alcohol or substance is no longer useful and we can then move beyond it into a more fulfilling way of living.
The existential family
However we choose to live at any given point in our lives, we are always living in a shared world. Our very existence is always in response to the situation that we are in, some of which we can change and other elements we can’t (the family we have, our history, our place in the world etc.). However, how we choose to navigate the world that we are thrown into, and how we respond, is part of the freedom that we essentially have as individuals.
We may experience struggle in relationships at home, at work or in other environments. It may be in starting them, continuing them, deepening them, or navigating times of crisis within them. The experience of trying to conceive, the intense changes that creating new families or being unable to in the way we imagined may also bring us to a point of crisis. The fundamental questions of how we are existing can come to the fore at these times. Equally as our families grow, as we juggle the seemingly ever complicated and high-speed nature of modern life we may want to hit pause and take stock of how we responding, to reconnect with the perhaps lost sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.
Relationships are central to living and our navigation of these impact our entire wellbeing. It is often alongside the other that we come to know ourselves. Coming together in therapy enables communication, can restore trust, and establish deeper understanding. From this foundation we can work to grow and change individually and together.
“The body is to be compared, not to a physical object, but rather to a work of art”
- Maurice Merleau - Ponty
